I've manifested opportunities for myself. The job interview I had in late May came to me through strange coincidences (synchronicities), which are primary evidence of manifestation. Plus I experienced some incredible synchronicities around it. At first I thought, "is this what the universe wants for me?" and then later realized I had manifested it.
Here's why...
At the time (in spring), my former co-workers were getting jobs. My former boss went to a new start up. I started living vicariously through them. I missed the science and I missed the industry. These emotions went into the universe and delivered to me what I ordered....a job opportunity... It brought me what I wanted with ease. Then I started to doubt. Especially the job. It was big pharma. The job was high throughput antibody production. The company seemed gray, lifeless and there was no joy. Everyone was stressed and every smile seemed forced. The minute doubt creeped in, I then undermined it for myself. The same was true of another opportunity.
So, what do I really want? I do want freedom. But I also was proud of being a scientist. I was proud to be a Director and I was really happy doing it. It has it's downsides...there's always work place politics. These are "pendulums" in the world of manifestation. A pendulum is an "us versus them" with drama kind of dynamic and we become ego identified with it. I do recall that there can be some weird rewards systems when living within a pendulum. The drama itself is addicting. However, it's really not helpful as it takes away from being our own person. We become inauthentic by being part of a group rather than being an individual (our true self).
In a moment of weakness, I applied once again for the job at Manifold. It's at a VP level. Why did I not manifest this? Self doubt of course. I'm a non-PhD scientist. And that's a high level. As soon as I doubt myself, then the world reflects this back to me. Still, having that job would make me proud of myself. I'd make very good money. The downside is not enjoying much free time and not living where I want to live. These are huge tradeoffs.
In the end though, in all job related circumstances, I've cared way too much about outcomes. I applied at Manifold many times. I never heard a word back. I know in my heart it was the doubt I was feeling. I also saw the team there... very high powered. I was intimidated. Today, I applied at Manifold again, but I got a feeling of peace when I decided I did not care one iota if I ever heard from them. 😆 Because, then I have the freedom to pursue whatever venture I want.
Am I caring too much about my businesses too? Absolutely!
So, what's going in my head around each of my businesses. It's attachment to outcome. I was asked by my helper at Fiverr about policies around returns. In my head, my mind is replying "I don't know" and I got a bit anxious. What made me anxious? Fear about customers not liking my product? Fear about handling returns?
I also have fears around coaching. I like the idea of helping people, but I really don't like having to hustle on social media. Will I be trapped on that treadmill of social media posting? It feels like work to me when I want the things I do to feel like play. This signals a misalignment of sorts. But I also think I fear not being helpful to divorced women. I am also offering something I'm not sure they're seeking. Many divorced women may not want to let go of their resentments and pain. Key to manifestation is to give up ever feeling like a victim because everything in your life is something you created. But women who are in pain might not want to take responsibility for their lives. Indeed, it may be their soul's plan to stay in that place for a while. I have to trust that if this is the case, they'd not be inclined towards me anyway. My ego mind creates a lot of fears based on nothing. And all these fears are attachment related.
Fears are attachment to outcome. By definition, I'm imagining some bad result and am fearful of that result. So, going back to my store....someone returns an item they don't like. I don't have to care if they didn't like it. It depends on the reason I suppose. If the design were bad, they wouldn't buy it. If the quality is off, I can seek out another POD provider for it. If it's a defective print, then I'll take it back. If the size is off, I can clarify how the sizes run to minimize returns. If it's that they just don't like it, then they'll have to eat the cost, like so many items of clothing I've bought in the past. It's not a big fucking deal! I can try to make my items so that customers will be satisfied but not so hung up on that it gives me fear.
For my coaching, yes, I don't like the social media hustle.
I'm taking a Skool program to strengthen my knowledge around Vadim's book, Reality Transurfing. This is the book that inspired me to coach, but taking the HIC program was what changed it to helping divorced women. But, I've noticed that the guy teaching the skool program has a booming business and I suspect he has a lot of clients. Would he be willing to train me in his coaching program? And we split the proceeds fo his overflow clients? I meet with him on December 4th. I'd love ask him. Because that would take away all the things I don't like, and keep the things I do like. I don't mind changing what I do, if it feels right in my heart.
So, yes....there's always a certain amount of...."why did I not see my attachment sooner?". Its a basic rule. I dismissed it as being out of my element and fears are natural when doing something new! I did not look as deep as I should have.
No wonder this all seems like work, when it should seem like play. When you play, you don't care what happens. When you work, you care, and often you care too much!
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